Posted on CruisingforSex.com:

(Aries, Spring Comes on with a Vengeance)

i want DICK DICK DICK and ASS ASS ASS. lick it up yeah baby yeah baby yeah baby. take orders spank. fuck open. that hole i'll show you an ovum your asshole bitch. let me in with my big cock small cock. i do piss. i do shit. i do food. everything. use me up. use me. give me a facial. give me a number. give me your bmw and your his & his cum towels.

i want big dick and no fat. no no no fat can't have that. yeah i'll swallow it all if you work out and look really hot because of course if you're hot then you'll have no stds. i have a tight ass, unlike most other people whose asses are so loose all the olestra is leaking out. married/bi a plus because then i can validate how hot i am by turning you gay. no weirdos though. in fact, i don't even want you to look at this ad if you're a weirdo. i should have it encrypted so that only really kewl guys between 22 and 25 look at it. i'm super duper fucking hot. don't forget it. ub2. bjs. fucking. everything. everything.

i'm 25 i'm 35 i'm 45 i'm old. i'm thin but getting older so the only way i can feel better about myself is by saying NO FATS OR FEMS really loud in all caps. i'm so afraid of the feminine, more afraid than i am of aids. i'm afraid of not being str8 acting or appearing because then i won't get that promotion. i'm ashamed of drag queens even though i wear drag myself suit and tie.

i'm married but won't admit i'm bi or gay. just want some cock man. no hassles no hangups. want to. go back to my wife after i wash out my mouth. watch my daughter play. want to pretend it's just sex. i've closed off everything. i live in two worlds.

i want to live in the castro and live out my life being gay, because that's what it's all about. gay life, gay friends, gay magazines, gay websites. my life is devoid of str8 people, except for the ones i serve at work. the ones who look down on me and won't pay me what i'm worth but it's okay it's okay on my off hours i can be GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY! i can use my pent-up rage to find sex with other really hot guys. to work out. to make myself a sex object. to go dancing, do some x, do some k. that'll change things. that'll make the world a better place. to cruise for sex and get into all the kewl parties. to look at my pecs in the mirror. that'll advance my civil rights. it'll all work out.

i get on the internet because it's easier to order in. i like to chat and i like to send pics of myself to other hot guys but only hot guys the ones like me. i've met a lot of kewl guys that way. guys i'd see more than once. of course i won't respond to the guys unless they're really hot. i don't just answer to any old TROLL WASHED-UP OLD PERSON OR CHUB. i am better than that doesn't anyone read my profile?!

i'm black i'm dominican i'm mexican i'm puerto rican i'm filipino i'm laotian i'm from sri lanka, and i'm just as good as the white guys. in fact that's why i spend so much time trying to fit in with them, trying to forget my culture. so much time dressing in tommy hil and the gap to fit right in and show that i'm just as good a gay as the white guys. so much time at the gym proving i can be just as white i mean as gay as them! never mind that as recently as two years ago asians were denied entrance to clubs in the castro. never mind that there's so much exploitation of half-naked latinos on posters in the castro yet no latino clubs. why protest? i just go to another club. or better yet rent a porno tape.

i live in a world of oiled pecs and drugged-out smiles airbrushed from magazines but no one who looks like me. the world is my hooker, in vhs form. everyone is willing to pimp for me, at bathhouses, at bars. the internet is a chance to download self-esteem through my modem. and yet i'm still being erased from history, despite the fact that "will & grace" hasn't been canceled.

i hope that one day we wake up from this long, long dream.


© Alan Reade, 2001